Shadow Work
and how to get rid of anxiety!
and how to get rid of anxiety!
The concepts “persona” and “shadow” were introduced by the psychologist Carl Jung. “Persona” is everything that we like about ourselves. These are our strengths, positive character traits and our best features. Everything that is not included in the “persona”, as we think, goes into the “shadow”. These are those manifestations and emotions that we do not like and do not accept in ourselves.Each person has their own shadows. Someone considers envy and lust unacceptable, therefore, hides them in the shadows. Another one easily accepts these manifestations but does not accept greed, selfishness and dark thoughts.Manifestations rooted in the animal part of the brain connecting us with our ancestors often go into the shadows too. In psychology, it is called the Reptilian brain. What was previously considered natural is now condemned by society.Shadows are formed during personality shaping. They arise from patterns imposed by society and our environment. We are told what we can and can’t do.Parents may use phrases like: “Only bad kids behave this way.” and a pattern is formed in the child’s subconscious: if I show my bad side, my parents will abandon me. So the “bad” traits go into the shadows.We also create shadows based on what information we receive, what we watch and read, who we communicate with. This influences our idea of what we can and can’t be.Shadow is a natural part of any person. We are born whole and only after some time do we begin to divide ourselves into “person” and “shadow” on the subconscious level. But both of these sides remain part of our identity.We can’t isolate ourselves from our shadow manifestations and simply erase them. If we do not accept our shadow, then experiencing these emotions leads only to reproaching and considering ourselves unworthy. But the more we deny the shadow, the bigger and darker it becomes.The deeper we try to hide it, the more likely it will manifest itself unexpectedly and strongly, for example, as a breakdown, hysteria, a huge argument.There is a lot of energy in the shadow. The unacceptable side is always an indicator of what we lack and what we can improve. For example, if a person is jealous of someone’s success in society, they wish to have that accomplishment and approval themselves.If they accept their shadow, they will understand how to satisfy that need and make life better. Feelings such as envy, greed, anger, aggression can often motivate and push you into action.By denying the shadow, we waste energy and direct it against ourselves. If you learn to accept it and turn it not into a destructive rage but excitement, it becomes a powerful energy source.Also, shadow qualities sometimes help to defend personal boundaries, protect yourself and loved ones. They are important personality traits to rely on.Accepting the shadow begins with recognizing. Every time we do, think, or imagine something we consider ourselves bad and unworthy of, is when we are faced with our shadow.This is something that we do not want to show others, which triggers guilt and shame. Also, the shadow can manifest itself as something we prefer not to notice. It’s much easier to deny and pretend that these thoughts, feelings, desires are not ours at all.Another manifestation of the shadow is when we overreact to particular traits in other people. This means that we do not allow ourselves to manifest the same way or do not like this manifestation in ourselves.When meeting with a shadow, try not to judge yourself, but accept: yes, now I am angry, and I am envious. There is no need to criticize yourself for dark thoughts. Better ask yourself a question – why do I feel this way? What am I missing? This is the positive aspect of the shadow.It’s an indicator of what we really need. Each shadow is an important discovery in the process of learning about yourself. Try to notice what you feel throughout the day, thank yourself for these realizations, and understand what is behind them.
EXERCISES:
To understand all aspects of your personality better, including shadow ones, you can use various tools: self-understanding practices, psychotherapy, affirmations, meditation, keeping a diary of emotions and of course SHADOW WORK.
You can divide a piece of paper into two parts and write your shadow manifestations on the one side and the manifestations of the “persona”, which are the positive traits that you love about yourself, on the other. This will help you see all aspects of your identity and integrate them.
In a meditative state, you can imagine meeting with your shadow, giving it attention and acceptance. Hug it and say: “I see you, I love you.” You can talk to your shadow, ask how it helps you, what it teaches, what it protects you from.
It’s impossible to get rid of the shadow. If we try to do this, we are not being honest with ourselves and those around us. We try to seem perfect, although it’s impossible. By embracing our shadow side, we become more real. We learn to manifest naturally in different states.
In response, we get essential lessons, personal realization and experience of interacting with people. This is the life we live instead of hiding in the dungeon of our shadow and destroying ourselves because of it.
Accepting your shadow means being your true self.